Dear Mom and Dad,
I’m 12 years old now, and since it’s been two years since Blacky got hit by a car (god rest his soul in doggy heaven) I thought now might be a good time to start anew with pets. I’m not looking to start with anything expensive or messy. I don’t want another dog or even a cat. Not even a parrot.
I want ants. And I know what you’re thinking, we have ants, but I don’t mean the winged kind in the garage, I mean pets, things I can care for and name. Take this mini antquarium, for example. Not only does it have a whole colony of ants, but it’s portable, so I can put it in my pocket and take it to school. Can you imagine how popular I’d be when people find out I have ants in my pants!?
Look, I know we just had Christmas and my birthday isn’t for another 8 months, but at only $13 or so it costs less than three packs of Mommy’s cigarettes. At least promise to think about it?
Thanks! And I’m sorry about the carpet.
Love,
Daniel
Disrupt 2026: The tech ecosystem, all in one room
Your next round. Your next hire. Your next breakout opportunity. Find it at TechCrunch Disrupt 2026, where 10,000+ founders, investors, and tech leaders gather for three days of 250+ tactical sessions, powerful introductions, and market-defining innovation. Register now to save up to $400.
Save up to $300 or 30% to TechCrunch Founder Summit
1,000+ founders and investors come together at TechCrunch Founder Summit 2026 for a full day focused on growth, execution, and real-world scaling. Learn from founders and investors who have shaped the industry. Connect with peers navigating similar growth stages. Walk away with tactics you can apply immediately
Offer ends March 13.
Mini Antquarium [Modern Tots]