Ashley Madison Says Business Is Booming

If you felt bad for the folks who work at “discreet encounter” site Ashley Madison, don’t. They’re just fine, apparently. According to this lovely press release, the company behind Ashley Madison, Avid Life Media, has had “hundreds of thousands of morons who want their info stolen people sign up for the service” since the hack heard round the world.

Tons of conversations and stories swirled about famous people who used the site, but hey…who are we to judge? They’re doing swimmingly!

Recently, the company announced that its CEO had stepped down, citing a mutual agreement.

Before today’s announcement, the company said: “We are actively adjusting to the attack on our business and members’ privacy by criminals.” It apparently took a break to tell us how great it is (and of course not a signal asking to be hacked again):

Recent media reports predicting the imminent demise of Ashley Madison are greatly exaggerated. The company continues its day-to-day operations even as it deals with the theft of its private data by criminal hackers. Despite having our business and customers attacked, we are growing. This past week alone, hundreds of thousands of new users signed up for the Ashley Madison platform – including 87,596 women.

That’s right, the site hasn’t just seen “hundreds of thousands” of new users signing up, some of them are actually women. Not fake women, mind you. Real ones who like to talk, according to Avid Life Media. Really. They said that women sent “more than 2.8 million messages within our platform” last week.

Well ain’t that grand. The hack is the best thing to ever happen to the site. Hopefully this means we can stop covering it now and giving them free promotion. I seriously never want to see that damn “shhh” homepage ever again.

Good luck and goodbye, Ashley Madison.